You Marry The In-Laws

You know how women sometimes say one thing but mean another? Well, one time my girlfriend in college went on and on, for hours, about how she couldn't believe she was "with someone like me", and about how all she needed was for someone to treat her with "a little kindness". She asked me to "please listen" to her, etc. This conversation lasted for about two hours and the whole time I sat there wondering, "What is she trying to say? What does she really mean?"

Then it dawned on me. "Oh, I get it!", I thought, "She wants me to play more practical jokes on her!"

So, that afternoon she fell asleep on the couch and I snuck up as quietly as I could and shaved off one of her eyebrows.

Oh man, You should have seen her that night as she was getting ready to act as the bride's maid in her sister's wedding. She was just totally...

... Well... I don't know. I guess I never actually saw her laughing now that I think about it, but I might have missed it while I was watching TV.

But, my point is, her brother and his friends ransacked my apartment that night while I was gone, so I had to break up with her. I'm not dating anyone with a crazy family.