Thursday, January 20, 2005

One For The Ladies

The number of people who read this blog has increased dramatically in the last week or two. In light of this fact, there is now a statistical probability that at least some of my readers are... sexy ladies.

This post is for you.

I know that being a lady you often feel stressed, even harried. I understand that you have your shopping to do and you're always... oh... I don't know, picking out barrettes and stuff. As a result, you feel overwhelmed. You're looking for support, and some of you have already learned that Crapples understands what you're going through. But, it's important for you to also understand that Crapples can only be your friend.

Case in point: Just the other day I was working out with Rose (that's the name I have for my barbell) when the phone rang. I picked up the line and it was... you guessed it... a sexy lady.

She was like, "Hey Crapples, I need to talk to you about...", but I cut her off and said, "Whoa, slow down, baby. I'm flattered, but Crapples is taken!"

Then she was like, "What on earth are you talking about? I just need to give you a message from the school nurse."

I said, "Listen honey, call it whatever you want to call it, but I love my wife. I'm sorry to let you down, but I'm spoken for."

Then she mumbled something about "biggest jerk" and "police.... harass.." something. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.

But, the point is: You'll have to be patient. I'm sure there's someone else out there who is almost like me, in a few ways.

Love always: Crapples

PS: When I say "Love always", I mean it in a friendly way. Sorry again.


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