Unholy Abominations That I Want For My Birthday

Jelle Atema, as reported in this article, is developing technology that will allow him to control a shark by remote control. Not a robot shark, but a real shark. He plans to map certain patterns of activity in the shark's brain, then reproduce those patterns artificially, and remotely, causing the shark to do his, presumably evil, bidding.

Of course, the ethical implications of research like this are nothing short of monumental. But, Atema says:

'The first thing we did was discuss the ethics of this approach, and we agreed that what we want to do is probably OK."

Well, alright then.

Now that the ethical considerations are out of the way, here are the remote control animals that I want for my birthday as soon as this technology is perfected:

1. Two remote control monkeys; one to be my butler, and the other to assist with general comedic mischief.
2. A single remote control bee for revenge purposes. (You better hope this never happens Mr. Jorgenson, my 7th grade guidance counselor.)
3. Finally, a remote control crocodile, because if I had a remote control crocodile... oh, man!